Wings vs Rings

L and I were driving home from practice last night. I mentioned that I hoped Daddy and M had figured out something good for dinner because I was super hungry. L announced she was "STARVING." She's five so it's not like she doesn't speak in extremes frequently, but this caught me off guard. 

L was the initial guinea pig for the unofficial Eat or Starve, it was called School Lunch. Her school is not air conditioned so lunch bags sit from early morning until lunch time. It kind of grosses me out. Also, I couldn't figure out that many different meals to send that didn't need any refrigeration. And, most importantly, it is easier to buy hot lunch at school.

I remember her teacher's concern when we told her of our plans. It was something along the lines of "our kid is a super picky eater but we are going to buy her school lunch instead of making her PB&J everyday day. She might get hungry, but she will be ok." The teacher looked skeptical and mentioned that school lunch wasn't always the healthiest option, sometimes they served things like french toast with syrup. I figured those would be the day she might actually eat.

L did pretty well.  Preschool had a morning and afternoon snack, and she always eats breakfast so we knew she would not literally starve. Plus, if she was really that hungry, she could always eat the tray of food that was given to her (crazy, I know). We did discover that L is not very familiar with different types of meats. I guess we mainly stick to chicken and shrimp at home. Her reports of her lunches were amazing:

Today we had chips with melt-y cheese, tomatoes, meat and oranges
Today we had noodles with sauce and meat and bread
Today we had bread with lettuce, chips, apples slices and meat
Today we had a salad with cheese, meat and bread

She never said beef, chicken, turkey she just says Meat. It was funny until I started remembering my own school lunches. Sometimes "meat" was the most accurate term to use. Either way, its been a good result. She's a bit more adventurous and generally less terrified of new foods, or she's so hungry from missing lunch she's willing to eat almost anything for dinner.

Normally when L is starving, it means she had something like Salisbury steak, and when that happens it means I forgot to fill out her meals (you can pick between two options and Salisbury steak is not an option I would ever pick). After her declaration of being Starving, I asked about her lunch. This conversation ensued:

L:  We had chicken wings for lunch today.
Me: Chicken wings? Did you eat them?
L: Yes mom! They were delish! I ate them all up!
Me: Chicken WINGS? You ate and they served chicken WINGS at school?
L: Chicken wings mom. (slightly annoyed)
Me: Like the ones with bone in them? You ate those?
L: No mom, chicken Wings.
Me: Right, chicken wings.
L: NO, chicken wings.

It suddenly dawned on me, L mixes up her Rs and Ws with some words. She had chicken RINGS at school for lunch. I laughed and she went on describing something else that had happened while she was at school. I dread the day she stops speaking in little kid language and pronounces everything correctly.

Friendly Reminders of Failure

We were invited to spend a weekend with some friends a few weeks ago. They have a great house on a quiet lake. It is a phenomenal location that reminds me of a place that children create movie-esque childhood memories. I was excited to be invited out and very nervous. The husband is vegan and his kids are rock-star eaters. My kids are, well, I started a blog about how hard it is to get them to eat.

The house is set up for awesome childhood memories.

I asked if I could bring some staples with us, you know, just in case. They said they already had everything planned out, we would have mac and cheese and hot dogs. Both things very kid friendly, both things M will not eat. But, to quote them, "Hey, what happened to Eat or Starve??" Well, it turns out that Eat or Starve is pretty damn exhausting so we do what we can which, honestly is not enough.

Everything was great until dinner. We had some delicious sweet potato, corn, black bean tacos. They tasted great, to everyone but my kids. L is such a sweet kid, she will do just about anything if she really needs to. She ate her taco with only minor coercion. L is a master of picking the battles she can win. M is younger and significantly more steadfast in her assertions. At one point I looked around the room and we had four people actively working to get M to eat three small pieces of sweet potato. There were tears, bribing, threatening, begging and finally ultimatums. It was completely and utterly ridiculous. I'm not really sure what was gained in the end. I went to bed questioning my qualifications for being a mother.

The thing is, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not sure we are doing what's best for M, or L for that matter. I'm not even sure where to look for confirmation we are doing the right things. Choices that shouldn't be controversial suddenly are. It doesn't even matter what you choose there are articles just waiting to show you that you're not only wrong, but actively harming your kids. From food to bug spray to vaccines to schools, there seem to be no right answers. I'd say you have to just trust your gut, but I honestly think a lot of times, you have to trust the decision you can live with in that moment, the decision you have the energy to make.

M ate a few things over the weekend she would not normally eat but I'm not sure I consider it a victory. I don't want there to be tears and yelling at every meal. I don't want to make eating stressful. I worked for too many years in clinics that treated amazing women and men with eating disorders. I want food to be easy and enjoyable. But, I also want my girls to be healthy, to grow to take in what their bodies need for fuel. I don't trust 3 and 5 year olds to make the best food choices, hell, left to my own devises, I don't make the best choices. I guess it boils down to the perpetual parenting asperation, hope that your kids turn out just a bit better than you did.

M, looking contemplative. She was having an internal debate about whether or not she should listen when we told her to stop feeding the dog fish food.  

New Beginnings, Sort Of

Friday was M's last day of Day Care/School. It seemed only appropriate that I was just as teary-eyed on the last day as I was the first. M, of course, was fine. The teachers put together this amazing binder from the year. I honestly wish every school did something like this. The binder included first and last day photos and a collection of artwork. It is truly amazing to see photographic proof of how much change has occurred in 10 months. I want M to stay our tiny little person forever, but I also can't wait to see what she's going to do next. Excitement and Dread, all wrapped up in a little 27 lb package. 

She's still tiny, but she's definitely a larger tiny.

I vividly remember the complete and utter terror I felt when we dropped M off the first day. We have been amazed at the things she has learned, the food she has tried and the words she knows. She proudly announced that Rojo meant Red in Spanish. She then proceeded to name all the colors of the rainbow in Spanish for me. While I was impressed, it literally brought tears to her grandmother's eyes. 

I have received text messages, probably as photographic proof, of the different foods Miss A and Miss S have somehow managed to convince M her to try. Peas, peppers, meatballs, grilled cheese, noodles WITH sauce, etc. They have gone above an beyond in helping her conquer her world. You can see the confidence she has as she wanders around the playground singing or tries a new physical challenge on some piece of equipment. M has mastered her day care to a level that makes me a bit uneasy. She has become buddies with twins that are 5, older boys. She fondly refers to them as "Her Boys." She is three and she already has "boys" that are apparently "hers." I'm completely ill-equipped to handle this.

As we bid farewell to her school year, we are starting both L and M's first summer camp experience. The camp is at M's school which makes the farewell from Friday both easy and confusing for M. We said goodbye to Miss A on Friday, only to see her again on Tuesday. (Sadly Miss S is actually off for the summer). However, Miss A she is no longer M's teacher. M and I are both are having a hard time with the transition.

Next week L begins camp at M's school. They are given the level of uncontrollable bickering, I'm shocked at how excited they are to be at school/camp together. The other day I found them arguing over what color an imaginary pet was, really.

I was/am surprisingly emotional about the teacher change at M's school. I can't image what will happen when L is done with preschool on Friday and we say goodbye to the wonderful teacher that has taught L the past two years. If we are lucky, she will be M's teacher in the Fall.

Here's to new summer adventures for all of us!

Never a dull moment, but the moments they play and agree are pretty blissful.

Too much Chicken in your Nugget

A few weeks ago, after swim lessons on a Friday night, I really wanted to not make dinner. I really love going out to eat. I am eagerly awaiting the time my kids are old enough to know what a treat it is instead of some type of weird delayed gratification training. 

Side story, we were taking my grandmother out of eat a few years ago at the local country club. Don't be too impressed, its a small town country club so it's definitely nice, but its not a country club like those you would find in large cities. I asked a little bitty two year old L what she would for dinner and she gave her one and only response, Mac Cheese. So that's what we ordered. It might be a small town country club, but its still frowned up to throw your food on the floor if you dislike it so it was based to stick with what she liked. L was very hungry that night. She had given me her order then looked at me expectantly. I told her someone was making it and it would be ready in a minute or two and handed her some crayons. She looked confused and a bit angry and said more loudly, MAC CHEESE MOMMY. At this point I realized she was expecting me to leave the table and go make it, the concept of eating out was not computing. It was a tenuous wait for the wait staff to return with dinner and I realized my adorable little girl already saw me as short order cook.  

Fast forward 3 years and an additional picky eater and we are headed to Fuzzy's Tacos for dinner. The restaurant had several things going for it.

1. The tacos are super good.
2. They have unlimited chips.
3. They serve cheese quesadillas and french fries.
4. They serve chicken nuggets and french fries.
5. The restaurant is LOUD so no one will notice us.

L was happily chowing down on her quesadilla and M was mostly happily eating her chicken nuggets. For whatever reason, my husband mentioned that he really liked that the chicken strips were obviously pieces of chicken breast and not a weird mix of odd meat and pieces. M stopped eating and looked at him. She looked at her chicken nugget. She slowly put it down and declares, "There too much chicken in my nugget." There was no coming back. She licked ketchup off her fries and ate chips the rest of the night. But the chicken she did eat was actually probably chicken!  

Bonus of having two picky eaters is that I only need to share the guacamole with my husband.

Life, Death & Bass Pro

We ventured out to Bass Pro a few months ago so my husband could pick up some necessities. L had been eating and sleeping like she was trying to put on weight for a boxing competition. Being that hungry, tired, and four makes you prone to some pretty intense emotions. The plan was to eat on the way, wow the girls with some awesome stuffed, aka taxidermy, animals and huge fish, and let them pass out on the drive home. It was going to be a great Friday night mostly because we were hoping to skip the entire bed time routine.

We arrived at Bass Pro without too much pain or suffering. There was some debate over whether or not one actually needed to eat their dinner before getting any type of snack and/or special treat that might be available at the store, but that was minor. What we had not planned for was the life and death conversations that could be triggered by all the various animals that are displayed at the store.

L:  Mom, were those animals alive?

Me:  Yes, those animals were alive at one point but now they are not. They can't hurt you or move (standing in front of a very large and menacing looking bear).

I will admit, I was completely misjudging the situation here and my answers were not helping.

L:  Mom, are they dead?

Me:  Yes, honey, they are dead.

L:  Why are they dead?  What happened to them?  Who made them dead?

Me:  (Oh no...) Well, people probably. When people go hunting, they hunt animals. Sometimes they use them for food, or blankets and other things.

L:  People killed those adorable little animals! Mommy, what happens to their heart if they are dead?

Me:  Your heart? Well, when you die it stops beating.

L:  IT STOPS??  THEN WHAT HAPPENS??

Please note, we are standing in the middle of an aisle. I'm crouched down with a wiggly three year old on one leg while L has a 1/16 life crisis in front of everyone shopping. Tears, big ol' alligator tears, were welling up in her eyes as her mind starts connecting these dots.

Me:  When your heart stops, you die sweetie.

L:  (not missing a beat) When I DIE?  I'M GOING TO DIE?

Me: (damn) Yes, we will all die at some point. That's what happens.

L:  What happens when we die?

Me: (this conversation is not what I was planning on tonight) You know how you talk about Jesus and Heaven at school?  When we die, if we've tried really hard to be good, we go to Heaven to live with Jesus.

L:  Do animals go to Heaven?

Me: I think so sweetie.

L:  What happens when we get to heaven?

Me:  Well, you get to be an angel sweetie. Remember when we talked about guardian angels, you can be someone's guardian angel and help watch over them.

L: Mom... (panic rising), Mom...  I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE AN ANGEL! HOW DO YOU LEARN TO BE AN ANGEL??? WHO WILL TEACH ME???

Side note, I'm not attempting to enter into any type of moral or spiritual debate. My answers might not be 100% accurate but it was the best I could do, especially crouched down in an aisle at Bass Pro. We managed to work our way slowly out of the store without too many more tears, but I don't think we will be coming back any time soon.

Side note, the next weekend my husband left early on Saturday to go duck hunting. Having completely blocked out the entire Bass Pro experience, when L asked where daddy had gone I replied with the truth, "Daddy went duck hunting with your uncle." Wrong answer.

L: DADDY WENT TO KILL THE BEAUTIFUL DUCKS? WHY? DO WE HAVE TO EAT THEM?

Needless to say Daddy had some serious questions and skeptical looks waiting for him when he got home that night. 

I'm adding this to the list of reasons I'm very grateful we were not born during earlier times. My kids and I are obviously not equipped to be survivalist or early settlers.