Keep them Busy

My husband is out of town for a few days. He swears it is for work but he's in Orlando and from the photos his co-workers are posting, he is probably researching the best way to lounge by a pool in the sunshine. I'm joking, I'm sure it is a grueling conference...  

My general plan when he is gone is to exhaust the kids as much as possible. Most of the time this just ends up with me exhausted and them some crazy combo of over-tired and over-stimulated. It does help the day go fast and we end up checking a bunch of fun stuff off our "We Should Do That Sometime" list. Today my mom joined us so we had more help and more input on what we could do.

We started off the day with L's last soccer game. Thank goodness it has been "unseasonably warm" as L would say. This crazy weather has really brought out her adult language skills. Its not a good as when she announced we should go somewhere "straight away," but the looks we get from folks when my 4 year old proclaims that it has been an "unseasonably warm Fall" cracks me up. I digress.  L is not the most athletic of kids, but she tries hard and has made friends. Actually, her team played another team from her school today. The highlight of the game for me was when L and one of her friends on the opposing team stopped midfield to hug it out. I really wish I'd gotten a picture, both of the hug and of the coaches' faces.

After the game, we headed a delicious spot for lunch that has recently added Detroit Style pizza. (www.poranopasta.com) I'm honestly not sure what that is, but this is one of my favorite places to eat and M will not touch anything on the menu. The addition of pizza means we can move it to a normal rotation. It was a stellar plan except they don't serve pizza until after 4:00. The best laid plans... I'm being dramatic but seriously. L is happy with some high end mac and cheese. I tried to sell M on a cal-zone of sorts. We have tried, unsuccessfully, in the past to convince M that it is pizza without sauce. Today she fell for it! It is a deep fried dough pocket filled with fresh mozzarella and basil. Since the basil is fresh and green, I'm going to count it as a vegetable. As an added bonus they have the best gelato popsicle in the world and kids will eat almost anything to get one.  

After a surprisingly successful lunch, we proceeded to the Butterfly House. The girls slept just long enough to be cranky when we got there. L was suddenly afraid of butterflies and M wanted to stay there forever because they are 3 and 4. We exhausted our options and headed to the adjacent playground to burn off any remaining energy. The 20 month age difference really shows up on the playground. L just has developed better coordination and climbing abilities lately. M has developed an overwhelming need to mimic everything her sister does. This leads to some fairly amusing playground antics as L tests her limits and M is mad at her for doing things she can't quite figure out.

Overall L handles the situation incredibly well. She has an immense about of patience with M until she doesn't, then it's really over. So far, today has been generally fantastic. Currently the girls are playing with the copious amounts of tiny little play-dohs we have left over from Halloween. Despite the Facebook warnings of Halloween being a rough holiday for all those kids with various food allergies, I guess they either don't live on our block or hate play-doh. Either way my kids are thrilled and busy.

I'm not sure how we will pass the day tomorrow, but we will have an extra hour since kids don't appreciate Falling Back for Day Light Saving Time like adults do. Whatever we chose I'm sure the kids will have stories for their newly tanned father when he returns from his work trip.

The Kids are Alright

Something happened in the last few weeks. I'm not sure what it is, but it feels like everything has been on fast forward. Between soccer, swim, birthdays, and activity filled beautiful fall days, it seems like there is less and less time to catch up on things. It is amazing and hectic, I feel kind of like we are missing the forest for the trees sometimes.

Both our kids are shockingly cool kids, according our immediate family at least. While I'm pretty sure we aren't 100% sure what we are doing, and M is still refusing to eat much more variety than we started this, I think our kids are pretty phenomenal. M throws us just enough small victories to keep me from giving up hope. L is trucking along as one awe inspiring little four year old. M's birthday is coming up, so we've been discussing age quite a bit. L will be a whole hand (5) at her next birthday. Its a few months away, but that seems so BIG. M will be three. Suddenly my littlest kid is also not a baby. I'm relieved and sad.

L routinely asks when M will be able to go to school with her. She can't wait for her sister to join her so they can play together at recess. L asked today if I could ask her teachers if they could be assigned to the same aftercare group so they could play together everyday. I am not delusional enough to believe this will last, but I am soaking up all the adorableness of it.

The required close but not matching fall picture outfits and giggles, lots of giggles.

We can't get our youngest to eat much other than peanut butter and pizza, but being a good sister/buddy seems to be going well. Of the two options, I'll take the good sister. Maybe with enough patience and will power, we can go two for two.

Have We Completely Messed Them Up Yet?

Becoming a parent, I believe, can rock the foundation of even the most confident of people. I remember leaving the hospital with L, my husband and I pondered that the only instructions we really received were "Don't shake the baby" and "This is how you put them in the car seat." Since I am a person predisposed to ridiculous anxiety and well versed in the unending game of "What If" I felt maybe more training should be required, or at least recommended.

There is so much potential in brand new people. I choose the worst possible way to deal with my questions and anxieties, I google things. Shockingly, the results are rarely accurate or curtail my anxieties. Often, it provides entirely new subject matters for me to worry about, and subsequently google.  Its a vicious and repetitious cycle. I remember being at my niece's fourth birthday, my brother in law made a fairly dark comment that somehow made me feel both better and worse. He commented that his daughter was old enough that she might start to remember things long term. Prior to this, he mused, she wouldn't even remember her parents if she was kidnapped or something happened to them. Dark, eh? All that time and effort you put in, countless sleepless nights and you wouldn't even be a memory if something happened. Yikes. At the same time, all that bumbling about will be forgotten!

Turns out, with Google, in addition to increasing your child's odds of needing long term psychotherapy, you can also increase your own.  Whether it be potty training, sleep training, food, day care, discipline styles, there are all sorts of ways to damage your children. If you turn to the internets, it doesn't matter which avenue you choose, they are all fundamentally wrong and harmful.

I've had a hard time with the day care/working mom situation. I had a predominantly stay at home mom, as did my husband. The efforts of balancing work and family were not really something I thought too much about prior to actually needing to confront them. I know I would be a horrible stay at home mom. I need structure and tasks that can be checked off a list. I need to see adults. It never really occurred to me I would stay at home. It also never occurred to me I would have a child literally cling to my neck sobbing as the daycare folks gently tried to disentangle her. I often feel torn and guilty, but I really think they are receiving better care and a wider variety of experiences than if I was keeping them at home. But you never know, What If..

As we trudged through our bedtime routine the other night, L was insistent she finish her "work." From the other room, I'm sure I sighed loudly, and walked out into the hall to see what this important project was. L & M had set up their own Office in the hallway, complete with a laptop and desk decorating fox toy. M had her baby in her lap and L was pointing things out to her on her laptop. I'm probably stretching here, but it made me feel a bit better. Maybe I'm modeling something they can improve upon with their kids. Maybe, just maybe, me working isn't going to be my major mistake, it will probably be food, but maybe I'm doing something kinda of right.

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Eh, It was Alright

As the weather cools off, then gets blazing hot, it becomes possible to enjoy the outdoors again. St. Louis has its issues, as any city does, but it has some amazing qualities and attractions too. If, for example, you wanted to exhaust your small children so there might be a faint possibility of them sleeping in on the weekend, it is easily accomplished. We attempted this over the weekend, with moderate success, 50% of the time.

L has started soccer, so our Saturdays now must involve a soccer game at some point. This weekend it was mid-day. L & M woke up bright and early around 7am because it was Saturday and not Monday-Friday when they sleep like little logs. They deemed it to be a waffle morning, so M and I headed down to start breakfast. There are few things in this world better than an agreeable 2 and 4 year old.

M cracked the egg for the waffles herself, significantly increasing the amount of calcium and crunch in our waffles...

L and Dad came down a bit later and started on the eggs and bacon. L filled up on eggs and waffles so she would have the energy her muscles needed to play in her game. For someone that spends a fair amount of the game literally twirling round the field, she takes her pregame nutrition very seriously. (I LOVE her game twirling, I'm not being critical at all, it is adorable). After breakfast we headed out for our day.

The soccer game was first and L did amazingly well. To quote her coach, "L actually RAN today!" She needs time to take it all in, by the end of the season, she'll be in the herd with the rest of the kids, maybe. We left the game and headed to a neighborhood festival to grab some lunch and check out the festivities. There were a lot of festivities and awesome (free) crafts. Unfortunately, between the game and the early wake up, L passed out pretty quick.

L was out cold for lunch, she was none too pleased with us when we woke her up.

We ended up at a veggie/vegan restaurant, which is a little outside our normal dining fare but we were hungry so, eat or starve. They had a kids menu, it had nuggets on it, Moose was thrilled. We decided not to inform her they were cauliflower nuggets, maybe she wouldn't notice? Turns out she didn't, that kid loves cauliflower nuggets. Half of me was thrilled she was eating a vegetable, and the other half realized she'd just discovered a lower calorie, lower fat, lower protein alternative to one of three foods she will eat. I tried to celebrate the first half.

We finally woke L up so she could eat. We figured she would be fine with the nuggets, if M ate them surely L would be ok with it. Not a chance. She didn't want the nuggets, she didn't want tater tots she didn't want anything, maybe to go back to sleep. But, since we had awakened her, there was no chance of that.

We finished out our day with a St Louis FC game. It was the last home game of the season so there were fireworks afterwards. With cousins and other kids there it was a pretty awesome way to end our day. As we were loading the girls into the car that night, I asked L if she had enjoyed her day. Her response, "Eh, it was alright. What can we do tomorrow?" The bar has been raised...

Intestinal Fortitude

There's that saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." I'm sure that is meant to inspire you to be tough, to work though it, to persevere despite the odds. It just makes me tired; maybe when the going gets tough, its because you are going the wrong way.

I resolved last week would be a better week, we would cook at home more and we would all get back on track. I even went grocery shopping with a list and a plan on Sunday. Based on last Sunday's post, that dinner did not go well, but we are tough, we will keep going! Monday night's dinner involved less brussel sprouts and more chicken and carrots. Chicken and carrots are benign enough, right? Nope.

Toddlers can be cruel little people, they have all the same insults and impulses as adults with none of the filters. M sat on the kitchen floor Monday night telling me that the dinner I was in the process of cooking was "yucky," "gross," and "I no eat it," for about 45 minutes. I'm not super sensitive when it comes to my cooking, some recipes work, some don't. There have been several times that I've made something and only received compliments on the lone store bought item on the table. It happens, its fine, its why I have a "Never Make This Again" board on Pinterest and in my cabinet. I have no idea how people on shows like Bar Rescue keep going to work day after day, only to have what they do insulted by just about everyone. They apparently have the intestinal fortitude I lack.

If I had Photoshop she would have an adorable crown and tiny scepter in her had so she could dress her part of Tiny Tyrant.

Defeated, but full because dinner was actually quite good, I text a good friend to say I was throwing in the towel; no more Eat or Starve. If my kids wanted to eat peanut butter sandwiches (smooth not crunchy on Hawaiian bread) and pizza for the rest of their lives then so be it. She kindly pointed out, as good friends do, that listening to and acquiescing to the demands of a toddler is a poor choice.  Those tiny tyrants are given parents for a reason. She also reminded me that L is doing really well, she's trying new foods and, on the rarest of occasions, she's even admitting to enjoying them.

She's right; she almost always is. We will keep going, we will also be eating pizza tonight, but we are making the pizza at home, baby steps.