Mixing & Matching

We celebrated my grandmother's 94th birthday this weekend. Family flew in from far and wide to join in the festivities. With big families, there are always a myriad of different personalities. I have one cousin, in particular, that is incredibly high energy; she is as extroverted as they come. I am not; I'm not especially quiet or shy, but I prefer quiet, small groups, the edge of the party rather than the center. 

My cousin flew in Friday evening and stayed with us until Sunday afternoon. It was a phenomenal weekend of family and catching up. It was the perfect reminder that we are all a little bit of each other, mixed and matched to fit together into a family. While we all hold a lot of differing views and ideas, we are all related and therefore, we all love each other, even if "damnit" is sometimes added to the end of that sentence.

As we sat at dinner on Friday evening, I couldn't help but notice how enthusiastically my girls responded to my cousin. She was full of pep, stories, games, and energy. She never seemed to tire of their questions and stories and she never lost her patience. I wondered if my kids were missing out by me being so, me. Would they be happier with a mom that was funnier? Would they be more adventurous if I made their worlds more of an adventure and less of a routine? Would Eat or Starve even be a thing if I was always pushing new boundaries, and taking them to experience new things? I started to wonder what it would take to push me to that level. Did I have it in me to be that person if that's what my kids needed? (Side note:  I do not. And, anything that would get me to that level of extroversion cannot and should not be legal).

On Saturday we drove to the party. At the, probably joking, request of my Aunt we brought L's violin so she could give a "concert." The afternoon flew by with lots of cake and cupcakes ingested. A small group of 3 or 4 people were chatting with L toward the end of the party. She had taken out her violin and was getting ready to play. With her back turned toward the room, she didn't notice about 12 of us gathering around. She played her little I've-only-had-one-30-minute-lesson heart out for a few minutes. We all applauded. She turned around to look at us with a terrified expression and started sobbing.

Private concert, at home. We have been promised she will be playing Twinkle Twinkle by the end of the school year. I have nothing but admiration for her teacher.

I scooped her up into my lap. She was embarrassed by the attention, exhausted by the festivities, and on a nasty sugar high. We sat for a few minutes just being quiet. Finally she said she was feeling a little better and agreed to take a walk with her dad. I know L gets overwhelmed. She gets a little too in her own head for her own good, both her parents are like that as well.  I realized, as she sat with her little face buried in my shirt, she does need to be pushed and prodded to explore outside of her comfort zone, so do I. But, she also needs a quiet place to come back to when she needs it.

Some people feed off other people's energy, they are amazing to be around and can motivate entire groups to do things they would otherwise not do (aka family pictures) all while making it fun. Other people need stillness to re-energize.  One isn't better than the other, its just different. I wish I was more of an outgoing person, but I'm not. I can push myself to be more outgoing, but I will always need my down and alone time to re-center myself. My kids seem to be the same way. Turns out we were all mixed and matched together just perfectly.