The Mellowing of Generations

One of the things I loved most about my childhood was the number of grandparent and grandparent-like people I had in my life. I had grandparents, great-grandparents and a handful of volunteer grandparents that provided all sorts of fun and influence. Today, I still have three grandparents that are mostly healthy and aware of what is going on around them. It is really amazing to watch my girls get to know them; four generations of one family going out to dinner tends to get noticed.

L and her great grandma headed off on an adventure, most likely to Steak 'n Shake to sip on milk shakes.

One of the bonuses of having so many older people involved in my life is that you experience a huge spectrum of attitudes and expectations. One set of grandparents thrived on spoiling my sister and I. My other grandparents were all business. We sat in the living room, legs crossed, wearing our shoes and answering questions politely. I remember Proper Grandma would allow you two nutter butter cookies if you ate all your dinner. Two, and only two, the cookies were stacked in the cookie jar in such a way that she could instantly tell you ate three. Growing up, I know I preferred going to visit the grandma that let me drink Jell-O (you didn't even need to wait for it to solidify). Looking back, I know both experiences were good for me. 

I travel back to my hometown once a week for work. One of my girls goes with me each week to get some grandparent and great-grandparent time. Driving back the other night I was marveling to my father at how much Proper Grandma has mellowed out over time, I guess being 94 will do that to you. We had just left a restaurant where M acted slightly better than a caged wild animal. She ate some of her dinner, ran a muck through the thankfully nearly empty restaurant and discovered she is now strong enough to open push open doors.

I text this to my husband and his reply was "She's no longer contained."

My grandma seemed fairly un-phased by the entire situation. I still have the impression that if I had acted like that when was her age, I probably would not be here today. The freshness and cuddliness of M seems to make up for a variety of transgressions. I think back to my strictly enforced two cookie maximum rule and wonder how I can possibly be arguing with the same woman over why M can't just have a few M&Ms when she is adamantly refusing to do anything other than lay on the floor in a boneless heap of toddler angst.  

I'm glad she has mellowed. I'm almost 100% positive I would be a nervous mess every time I had my kids around my grandma if she still held her previous standards. I enjoy watching her soak up the hugs, kisses and snuggles that are offered to her. 

I'm not going to lie, L & M both have deceivingly angelic faces that cause almost everyone to forget they just smeared chocolate on your favorite white sweater or "accidentally" used the permanent marker on your new pillow(s). I know they provide the highlight of my grandparent's week, even if the highlight involves some actual highlighters on a family heirloom. The wonder of great grandparents is that they provide a never ending source of unconditional positive regard which is something every kid should have and every parent should be reminded of.